The Paris Hilton Approach To Software DevelopmentFiled Under Human Factors, Software Process
By nature, I am a very peaceful man that loves all of God’s creatures; however, it has been a long time opinion of mine that Paris Hilton must be assassinated for her crimes against humanity. Paris Hilton embodies everything that everybody hates, and as a shocking result – everybody hates her.
Here is the kicker – I see these same traits in some very arrogant developers. So what can we learn from Paris Hilton the developer?
Never Learn Anything
Why learn a new language when you already know at least 3 keywords in the language you grew up with? Once you realize that “hot” is not a keyword in Java (although I am officially proposing it should be), perhaps it is time to grow up and break out of your shell.
Being lazy and apathetic to learning truly is this generation’s new learning disability. Continuous learning is a cornerstone to a healthy lifestyle, but absolutely essential to stay in the software development limelight. Don’t be a dummy and think that you can get away with your current skills for the rest of your career.
Think You’re The Shit
Thinking that the center of the universe is you is a classic developer mistake. You are not that special. There are millions of people that can also develop software, and just because a small group of people depend on your skills does not give you a right to think you are better than them. Guess what buddy, you are dependent on the rest of the company for that paycheck every month.
Look Busy And Accomplish Nothing
Go ahead, run from meeting to meeting looking like a chicken with it’s head cut off. People will (and unfortunately do) view that as productivity. However, the more time you spend looking productive the less time you are being productive.
Productivity is measured with tangible results, not with time and energy spent.
Blame Others For Your Mistakes
Who just broke the build? Oh girlfriend, it must have been that bitch Nicole.
Blaming others for your mistakes is just weak. You suck because you suck. Get over yourself and go learn how to fix it…oh yeah…I forgot you have the learning disability…sorry…